Bucket Brain | 6 Thoughts Of An Anxious Mind


I was once told that our brains are like buckets, when you fill them too much with thoughts and feelings they overflow and that's when you'll really find it difficult to cope. 'Normal' people without anxiety have an empty bucket so they can tackle many different thoughts and feelings and barely even fill their bucket at all. On the other hand the bucket of an anxious mind is already half full or sometimes even closer to overflowing, so even the smallest thought can tip you right over the edge and into full breakdown mode.. lets just say my bucket has been right on that edge recently... I don't know if it's because of my rather hectic to-do list (read more about that here!) or the fact that I barely have any time to just spend time with myself to recover my thoughts but it's once again gotten to the point where I seem to be anxious daily and I can't really cope! I'm just desperately holding onto the fact that I have a week long holiday coming up at the end of August and that is genuinely keeping me going - I think that that is 100% what I need right now, a long tanning session on an empty beach and some lush sunshine! But anyway, for todays post I decided to share a few of the thoughts that come along with my anxiety, to be honest a lot of you out there who also have anxiety (and probably a few of you who don't have anxiety!) will relate to these thoughts too. I've also included a little smidgen of my own advice to each thought, so that we can all remember that we don't need to suffer alone and we can do something about these thoughts; I hope the advice will also remind me to not be such a worry pot lately too! Let me know in the comments if you have also shared some of the same thoughts on your down days and also feel free to share some advice, since we all need a little helping hand every now and again! Also, always remember that if you ever need a chat I'm always around on twitter - you can find me here

1. I WISH TODAY WOULD JUST BE OVER // Very often when I wake up feeling in an anxious mood my first thought is that I just don't really want the day to happen. Everything that I have planned for the day, running errands, speaking to people, going to work just all seems like so much more of a chore when you're feeling anxious and so my first thought 100% is always I just want to stay in bed and wait for the day to be over! I must admit there have even been times in the past where I've had important things to do and I have let people down due to these thoughts and feelings and I mean, I wouldn't say that's the best way to live - obviously we all need our down days to recover and rejuvenate our thoughts but don't let your anxiety get in the way of important days out and opportunities to make memories with the ones you love! Next time you wake up feeling this way just challenge yourself to get through it instead, if you can prove to yourself that you can still have an amazing day despite you anxiety then you can truly do anything and that makes you such a strong person! I know that it might be exhausting to put on a brave face and combat the day but give yourself something to look forward to at the end of it like a nice lush bubble bath and a glass of wine - that'll do just the trick! 

2. ARE PEOPLE JUDGING ME? // This might be the thought that pops up in my head the most on a daily basis, I feel like because I really do value the opinions of others so much I tend to use people's opinions of me to tell myself that I am a likable person or that I look good or I don't look good! It has gotten to the point where I am now looking at people who walk past me on the street to see if their face changes when they see me - is that normal.. who knows?! My advice here is that 99% of the time people are not judging you, they're too worried about themselves and the way they come across to even think about you and what you look/sound like! Obviously you are always going to come across people who do think it's okay to judge you, but don't value their opinion because as long as you feel comfortable and happy with the way you come across to others that's all that matters. Everyone has different opinions so you'll never be able to please everyone, just be yourself. 

3. BUT WHAT IF? // What if is a huge question for people with anxiety, I mean it's pretty much the meaning of anxiety - constantly worrying that 'what if' something bad will happen! For me, my main 'what if' is what if I'm late. I absolutely hate being late anywhere - if I have a plan for the day I will expertly plan out my morning so that I will get everything done in time to the point where I will usually have 30 minutes or more to spare! If I have to catch a train anywhere or I'm meeting someone somewhere you can bet that I will be there 20 minutes early out of fear of being late! In actuality when I take a step back I kind of realise that being late really isn't the end of the world - I mean yes, missing my train would be super annoying but it really isn't that big of a deal. This probably works with most of your 'what if' thoughts too... so next time you have one of these thoughts just step back and think what really is the worst that could happen and is it the end of the world?! 

4. DO THEY LIKE ME?! // Being liked is another huge deal for me, me and Ethan we're actually talking about this the other day since I started my new job and I was worrying that my colleagues don't like me. Ethan actually works at the same place as me and talks to a lot of the same colleagues I do in a day and so he has obviously heard from them their opinions on me - so far they have all been positive, woo! But why then do I continue to feel like these people don't like me.. they clearly do but my brain just keeps telling me different things! It gets to the point where I separate myself from the group at times because that way I can stay out of the way and people won't build an opinion of me.. but I mean that will only make things worse, if I'm not talking to them why will they ever like me and want to talk to me?! I guess I need to remember that as long as I'm not offending anyone and I'm just being friendly they don't really have a reason to not like me. Of course you're always going to come across people who are just grumpy and will just not like you for no real reason but those people are seriously not worth your time anyway, so they don't need to like you *sassy hair flick* haha! 

5. DO THEY THINK I'M JUST ATTENTION SEEKING?! // I always feel like the first time I tell people I have anxiety it comes across as sort of an excuse - if I can't turn up to a social event or I can't go to uni one day then I have to explain to them that I have anxiety and I feel like it comes across as just an excuse to be lazy. In the same way, because anxiety isn't a visual thing that you can see  I often feel that others see my anxiety as a way of gaining attention and as a way of making people feel sorry for me - almost like I'm making it sound worse than it is or I'm making the whole thing up completely! (I've done a whole post on this and also the subject of stigma in the past so if you want to read that click here!) Obviously this is not the case, anyone who've I've ever told about my anxiety has been 100% loving and you can tell that they really do understand that anxiety is real and does require support at times. I guess when you have this thought you just have to reasure yourself because at the end of the day if you truly aren't looking for attention or sympathy then you're thoughts and feelings will be genuine and people will be able to understand that you are being truthful. 

6. WILL I EVER BE 'CURED' ? // The thought that you will never get over anxiety creates a sort of vicious circle because ultimately you end up being anxious about being anxious! I have often wondered what it would be like if I could just be cured of my anxiety and go on to live a normal carefree life without daily worries! Obviously, it's no bombshell that we will never be cured of anxiety and it is something we will have to live with throughout our lives, however the best thing to remember is that you can learn to cope with it - there are so many ways of coping with bad days and getting through them instead of just being a ball of anxious mess!(you can read my post here where I give you some tips on dealing with anxiety!) Also, just think about how much stronger anxiety has made you, you've gotten through so much stress and worry and it has truly made you a stronger, braver person! 


3 comments :

  1. I love this post!
    I don't have anxiety but I can totally relate to some of these thoughts. I hate being late too, and I always keep asking myself what people think about me. I over analyse situations because I'm scared of what will happen if I'm not prepared for it.

    I hope, at the end of the day, you think about what could go right instead of being afraid of what could go wrong!

    Marilyn x
    marilynnassar.wordpress.com

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  2. I suffer with anxiety and I related to this so much. I think all of these pretty much daily!

    Ella xx
    www.inellaselement.co.uk

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  3. Aw this post was way to relatable too me! Number 2,4 & 5 especially! Every time I say I'm having a bad day on social media I worry people are just thinking I'm looking for attention xx

    Thrifty vintage fashion

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