The Windy Road To Self Love


"And if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?" I came across this quote recently and it really got me thinking, it's so true thought isn't it, we're all quick to name our family, friends, favourite places and even food before we pop ourselves onto the list of things we love; I feel like we often forget how important self love is but it's definitely something that we shouldn't take lightly! I know I talk about it a lot but living with anxiety truly is a constant battle, there is always so much going 'behind the scenes' inside an anxious persons head.. inside my head, that people can't always see. One of those things that sticks out the most to me, especially recently is hate. Although hate is not a word that I use lightly in my daily life, it's definitely something that has been a big part of my life over the last year - namely self hate. Whenever I have an anxious spell or  a day where I just want to hide under my duvet and not see anyone my first port of call in blaming myself, I blame myself for the way I am, the fact that I can't just be brave and 'man up' and the fact that I can't just be 'normal' and do what 'normal' people do. It's sort of a vicious circle really, because feelings of self hate can often lead to more anxious thoughts that other people feel the same way which will then go on to create more anxiety.. so you see my dilemma! I'm not going to lie and say that the road to loving yourself and accepting who you are is easy, because let's face it, it's not! But it's so important to just get yourself out of that dark place that is self hate and slowly but surely learn to accept yourself for who you are and begin to love yourself for all the things that make you you. So I thought today I would share a few things that you can do to introduce self love into your life, I hope that these will not only help a few of you out there who may be feeling the same way as me, but also I want to give myself a little reminder of all the ways I can put myself first - because it's important to be selfish every once in a while! 

COMMIT TO USING POSITIVE WORDS // I understand how difficult this may seem, especially when you've just had a really terrible day where you just can't seem to do anything right at all, but it really can be the first step towards self love! Remember it's okay to make a few mistakes as no one is perfect and to be honest don't even look at them as mistakes, instead look at everything you've learned and see it as a lesson to do better next time - instead of using negative phrases like 'I'm such a failure and I can't do anything right today' try saying something a little more positive like 'okay, today wasn't perfect but I've learned so much!' - How much better does that feel?! With a little bit of commitment you can see how that would eventually change your point of view and would help you on your journey to self love! When it comes to anxiety, I try my hardest on anxious days to remember how much of a better person anxiety has made me become - it can be difficult to see the good in anxiety, but it really has made me a stronger person and when I look at how brave I've been and how much I've overcome it makes me feel great about myself, you should feel proud too! 

UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU DESERVE A TREAT // Treating yourself is something that I like to put into every 'how to' or 'tips' post, but let's face there's nothing that a little pamper session, buying yourself a bunch of fresh flowers or eating that chocolate bar can't solve! Seriously though, treating yourself and recognising when you deserve to treat yourself is definitely a big part of self love and also great way to bring self care into your life. Taking care of yourself is so important in daily life, not just in the way of certain rituals like pampering yourself with a face mask on a Sunday night (although you should definitely do this too!) but also with things like sleep and food, sometimes we just need those extra hours in bed so just go ahead and let yourself have them, you'll be in a much better mood once you've woken up feeling fresh!

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND MAKE CHANGES! // Taking a step back, looking at your life and being honest with yourself is definitely something that I suggest everyone does when they're on the road to loving themselves! Are there things that you really love about your life and things that you have really benefited from over the years? This is great, keep doing these things and try you best to keep them in your life and in your daily routine! On the other hand, are there things that aren't quite so beneficial to your life, things that you could do better without? These are the things that you need to be honest with yourself about, for example; if there's a toxic friendship in your life that is causing you stress, simply just stop it - you really do need to be selfish every now and again and trust me, you will feel so much better without all that added worry in your life! If there's something in your life that you want to change, change it! It may be easy to recognise those things that need to be changed but it's so important to actually do something about them and I feel like that's where a lot of people go wrong. So start now, there's no better day to start feeling happier than today! 

DON'T BE CRITICAL OF OTHERS // Okay, we're all human and the natural thing to do when we see another person is to judge them, unfortunately we do sometimes feel the need to be critical of others and we truly can't help our thoughts! Although a lot of us don't actually intend on hurting the other person's feelings, just the thought in our head alone is enough to change our psyche and the way we view people. If we walk around the world being critical of others it's natural to think that others are being critical of us and this really can effect your confidence negatively. Obviously on the other end of the spectrum thinking positive thoughts about others and trying not to judge people as much can help you to become a generally more positive person which can really help you to feel more loving towards yourself and can naturally help you to use this positive outlook when thinking about your own personality and when looking at yourself in the mirror. 

9 comments :

  1. I loved reading this and I agree that quote is so true, I don't think I would have ever listed myself! But I want to change this! I am going to use these tips and start practicing self love more xx

    Thrifty vintage fashion

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    1. Definitely you go girl! I really hope this tips help you to love yourself a little more! :) x

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  2. Lovely post, very thought provoking :) xx

    Blog: http://whattabithaloves.blogspot.co.uk/?m=0

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  3. Such a beautiful and inspiring post, I loved reading this and I think that quote is really powerful as I would have never thought to have listed myself :) xxx

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    1. I'm so glad you liked it! :) Yeah, that quote seriously got me thinking! I feel like quite a lot of us wouldn't put ourselves on the list! x

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  4. This really struck me hard. I love this. Although I don't struggle with anxiety, I have had a history of depression, self hate, and self harm. I really related a lot to what you wrote about. This is so encouraging, to see another person my age being strong like this. I wrote alittle about my story on my blog as well if you want to check it out :)


    http://herdaringthoughts.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-1-step-to-remeber-when-dealing-with.html

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    1. Awh! :) Thanks so much for your lovely comment, I'm checking out your blog post now lovely! x

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  5. I absolutely love this post Jemma, you've spoken about an issue that needs to be spoken about more often. I struggle with Anxiety and it's been such a challenge for me to learn to love myself even if it's the smallest part of me which makes me amazing :) I hope more people out there read this and learn to love themselves too!

    Emmie | www.carpediememmie.co.uk

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