You're So Shy.


''You're So Shy'' is something that I've heard a lot throughout my life, as a socially awkward and anxious person. In the past this would make me feel really quite bad about myself and sometimes really hurt me . Actually, in most cases it makes the situation ten times worse - like what do they think, they can say 'you're so shy' and then I'll suddenly start being so confident and outgoing, sorry that's not how it works! I guess it would make me feel genuinely hurt because society paints such a negative picture when it comes to shyness, being shy is something to feel ashamed about, we're made to feel like we're just socially awkward and like the one who isn't making an effort or be outgoing. But, recently I've been trying to take a different approach to shyness because being shy shouldn't  be seen as a negative thing, it's just a part of my personality and it makes me who I am. When you actually get to know a shy person you begin to realise that there are actually so many amazing things that come with being a shy person, so I thought I would share some of those with you today. If you're a shy person like me after you read this I hope that in the future if you hear those words 'you're so shy' instead of feeling hurt or ashamed you can just smile and be proud, because shyness is actually a pretty amazing trait to have! 

WE'RE MORE INSIGHTFUL // Us shy people much prefer to be quiet and reflect, I don't know about you but people watching is one of my favourite things to do... and not in a creepy way either... haha! But you know what I mean and I'm sure a lot of you can relate, we much prefer to stand back and observe a conversation taking place rather than stepping in and involving ourselves. This unlocks our ability to read people and means that we are very insightful people. Reflecting on the actions and behaviours of others allows us to understand people more deeply and we can dig below the surface to see what people really are like underneath, since people aren't always the person they come across as when they speak to you.


WE LOVE TO LISTEN // You know those stupid team building exercises, where you have to share a 'crazy' fact about yourself or where you have to tell everyone a trait about yourself that you love - well for starters I can never think of a crazy fact, but my favourite trait has always been that I'm a great listener and it's something that I'm definitely proud of. Being a great listener actually comes from being shy, instead of being the centre of attention and being the one who's talking, we much prefer to take a step back and be the one who is listening. Whilst society might think of us as being removed from a conversation, it's actually not the case at all, since you need at least two people in a conversation, right?! In fact, shy people are often the best people to talk to, especially if you need someone to vent to, we will actually listen!

WE'RE THINKERS // I bet most of my fellow shy people out there can relate to me when I say I have a reflective mind that does not shut up, haha! We like to think very deeply about situations and people but often this can mean that we make better decisions, mainly because we think about something so much and for so long that we've thought of everything that could possibly go wrong! This does mean that we don't often act instinctively though, we much prefer to make well thought out decisions. With this comes our ability to think before speaking, meaning that we avoid a lot of awkward situations and are very good at keeping people happy - this makes us likeable! 


WE'RE APPROACHABLE // Shy people can be quite predictable and whilst on the surface this can seem a bit boring or reserved it's actually a good trait to have since it makes us more approachable in social situations. Even if they don't know it, other people prefer this predictable nature in a conversation since you can already tell that the conversation won't take a turn and end up being confrontational or too personal. Positive social encounters are actually something that shy people are so good at, we avoid confrontation like the plague so people don't have to worry that you'll suddenly turn on them and create a negative atmosphere! 


WE CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK // Again, on the surface you might look at this and think of it as another bad trait, since worrying what people think about you is negative, right? Isn't it better to just live life not worrying and just be who you are? While yes, this is true - worrying about how other's perceive you is one of the main reasons why we find social situations so uncomfortable, we can actually use this trait to our advantage since it makes us more self-aware. Being self-aware and being aware of what people think of us can give us the ability to shape ourselves into someone who other people like and a generally more appealing person. I have to say though, don't change who you are completely for the sake of others, be who you want to be. 

10 comments :

  1. I totally relate to everything you said here! I constantly get the "you're so quiet!" comments, lol as if I don't know that already. It does get quite annoying, and when I was younger people used to make fun of me for being so shy and "not having any opinions" and "not being able to start a conversation", and it really upset me. I love how you've turned what most people think of as a negative into such a positive thing, I enjoyed reading this so much and it's so refreshing to see shyness as a good thing! x
    - Clare | www.stereo-clare.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. It's so annoying, isnt it?! I completely relate to the whole 'not having opinions' thing!! I'm so glad you enjoyed my post though! :) x

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  2. I can definitely relate & I agree with everything you mentioned! I'm an introvert, socially awkward and a shy person all in one but I really don't think that's a bad thing for the exact reasons you shared in this post. What people don't realse that there's so much for to shy people than just being the quiet one x

    Sara’sChapters

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    1. Awh! :) Thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed! Fellow introverts unite, haha! x

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  3. I can relate. I also tend to get "you're shy" or "you're quiet" "why are you quiet?" it gets very annoying.
    Great post to turn it into a positive :D

    ZEKALIN

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    1. It's so annoying! So glad you enjoyed my post though! :) x

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  4. This is a really cute post, there's nothing at all wrong with being shy I think it's a cute trait to have, I'm not shy anymore but when I was really young I used to be. I defo get what your saying about society though, it paints it in a way where there's a certain way to act and it should'nt be like that, keep embracing it :)

    S x | SHELISES WORLD

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  5. Hello fellow introvert. I have to agree that it makes things so much worse when someone points out our quietness - it's so annoying that people feel the need to point it out. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate it if we told them they talk too much haha.

    xx

    www.kirstyburrage.com

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